Friday, June 09, 2006

The Hardest Thing



I finally got Matt to send me some pictures. I've only waited well like FOREVER! Although I know my husband hates getting his picture taken so any I get mean alot more. So there is my sweet husband (I love you sweetiexoxoxo)

I think I have realized the hardest part of him being deployed. I thought it was missing him so much or taking care of the kids alone or even the constant worrying. No the last few days I found what it is (at least for me). It's not being able to hug him & make things better. The past week or so he has been so down. Heat,work, people,everythings just getting to him. I hate not being able to give him a huge hug , kiss & tell him it will be ok. You have no idea how close Matt & I are. We finish each others sentences. We always know exactly what the other is thinking or even how each other are feeling. If you were every around us for more than a few minutes you'd probably either puke or just slap us. We are one of those couples that I HATE HATE seeing right now. The one's saying "I love you honey" for no reason & kisses here & there all the time. You should see our conversation on messanger it's usually filled with I love you,I miss you,I wish you were here,I wish I could be there. On the outside looking in it's pretty sickening but I don't care I love it!! We always know just what to do to cheer each other up even st the worst of times. I only wish I could do that for him now. I can send 100 care packages with his favorite PB cookies,write the sweetest love letters,talk to him & tell him it will be ok but I think I'm already doing the one thing he really truly needs. Thats love him. I may not be able to put into beautiful words just how much I care about my husband or write a beautiful song that would just knock him off his feet but love him with all my heart.....Well,that I can do!

~Court~

12 comments:

Charla said...

That's so sweet Courtney! It's great that you guys are that close. That's what being in love is all about, not caring what other people will think, just making sure that special person knows how much you love them! I'm so happy for you. I'm sure Matt knows how much you love him and he'll be just as happy as you to finally get to hug and kiss you too! Love ya girl!
Charla

michelle said...

It sounds like you and Matt have a great relationship, which is good to see. And Loving him is what he needs most right now! Your doing an amazing job. Keep it up.

Michelle said...

I know it's hard, but you're doing exactly what he needs you to do. Love him as much as you can, and you guys will pull through this. It's hard all the time, but at least you know that no matter what you have a love that will bind you forever.

Courtney said...

I know that feeling all too well. I hate not being able to help Danny when he gets depressed. I feel so helpless. It is the worst feeling in the world. But you are right the best thing to do in those situations are to let him know you love him and that you are there for him. You guys sound like a wonderful couple. That was just about the sweetest post ever. I am glad you guys are so close. And I hope things start going better for Matt.

Zayness said...

Courtney you are so lucky that you & Matt have such an awesome relationship. I'm sure he knows you would be there to hug him or kiss him if you could & he would do the same for you. I went thru a year deployment living w/out my husband & its so hard just like you said not being there when they need you the most or them not being able to be there for you when you need them the most. You are a great Military wife & just by standing by him & supporting him & taking care of his home & kids you are helping him get thru it. My husband is home now & has retired from the Army after 22 yrs but now my step son has joined & is leaving for Iraq in July - he is actually coming home on leave tomorrow for 2 weeks & i can't wait to pick him up at the airport but will miss him & worry like crazy when he's deployed for the next year. He is 18. Please tell your husband thank you for his service to our country & thanks to you for being such a great military wife. Hugs, Karen

Sandra said...

Court you and Matt are so in love and it's amazing and refreshing to see that even after you've been together all these years. Hold on to that girl, and honestly, who cares what others think right?

He's a really lucky guy to have you for a wife, you're always there, you're his biggest supporter and I know it's hard wanting to be with him to let him know everything will be ok. He knows how much you love him, just like you know how much he loves you. You guys are soooooooo sweet together, I love that :)

Hope you have a great weekend, I know they're not your favorite days, so go out and do something fun with the kids :)
Love ya girl!!!
Sandra

Glo said...

Court,
You have a strong love for each other how special. Just keep telling him how much you LOVE him. You'll get through this. We all will. Tell Matt we have all of you in our prayers.and If we could we give him a big Hug from all of us. Thank him for all he doing and that we love him too. Tell him he also has a wonderful wife and family.

Courtney said...

Thanks girls! Your comments really lift my spirits. I love you all:)

vanessa said...

love is amazing i am happy for you that you have that with your husband
just saw your blog through someone elses and your words touched my heart. so many women dont relize what kind of husbands they have but you seem to, even before he left. I am a military wife also and my hubby just left so i can relate
i'll be adding you to my daily list
god bless

Emily said...

Court: I thank God u 2 are so cute together and so lovey dovey. The truth is I'm quite jealous -- Dan has been so preoccupied and distracted that we rarely get those "I love/miss u" conversations that u 2 are having. (the "y" key is broken on my pad and sooo annoing!). But you know what? U still miss him like crazy. So u remind me that everyone is different, and it really isn't all about what's going on now, but what will happen when they come home. Sometimes I think "11 more months!!! I don't know if I can hang in there that long" but checking in on your site always reminds me that I can...

kbug said...

Nice pictures...and I know how you feel. When Seth was sick not too long ago, I wanted to be able to make him some soup and get him the medicine he needed. I don't think military doctors take care of our babies the way they should, they need a bunch of moms over there to do it..... :)

Shionge said...

Hi, I chanced upon your blog through Vanessa and I have great admiration and respect for all of you.

I know how it was like when our hubby is not around. My other half was send to the US for 7 months on a training stint and I have to juggle work, family and kids as well.

I hope you will gain strength during this period of time and although I might be on the other half of the globe, I hope to send some cheers to you too.

Take care and bless you.