Friday, June 02, 2006

One Of Those Days

It's been one of those days! One of those where you just want to go back to bed & start it all over. All I can say is thank goodness it's almost over. Lately I have been feeling well I guess a good word would be BLAH! If that is an actual word. You know those days where you feel fat & ugly & nothing seems to go your way. Well, I have felt that way for days! No reason why really but I wish it just go away. I feel just so out of control. Out of control with the kids the house my whole life really. I thought about maybe getting my hair cut. Thinking maybe a new look would help but then I remembered how I felt after cutting it last time. I vowed never to do it again. I love my hair long as does Matt. Gosh I don't know. I just want to look & feel good. Its so hard to explain but maybe one of you will know what I mean & I won't feel so crazy! I was at the store today & caught myself doing something I have done for years but today it just seemed I don't know strange. I would see something new something I thought I'd like but before I'd even think of putting it in my cart I'd immediately look at the fat grams. I do this constantly. Ahhhh......why do women do this? Why do we feel we must be perfect? Is it just me? I live my life so worried about gaining one pound that I am driving myself crazy. I'll admit I totally have the distorted body image. I see something totally different then whats really there but thank goodness I do realize I do this & can control it to some degree. Now, I'm not saying I think I'm just so fat & I hate myself. Although it seems like I have been on a diet for years & it's getting really old! I need to learn to just be happy with me but how? Matt is great to me. He tells me everyday that he loves the way I look so why do I think this way? Ok sheww, had to get all that out. Thanks for listening. So how much do I owe ya??LOL!

~Court~

7 comments:

kbug said...

Well, if I was Lucy from Peanuts...she charges 5 cents...... :) Actually, you just cracked me up. A couple weeks ago, I had a fat, ugly day and even said those exact words to myself. I didn't realize that others had days like that, too..... :) But you sure don't look fat and ugly in your picture on this site...so snap out of it. You can send my nickel to the USO..... :)

michelle said...

Girl I am so with you, just this weekend I looked at Ray and told him that I was having a fat day so please do not push it! he laughed at me like I was crazy, but seriously I was on the verge of tears nothing I wore felt right, and When I looked at my legs I thought that I would cry and so on... I think we all do that from time to time. You know that you are not fat and I know that I am not either, I think staying active helps, now finding the time is another problem! I always tell people the key word in diet is DIE! and that is why they do not work. LOL. Someone once told me this when I was feeling bad about myself, "drink some water and you will feel better about yourself" After I said what and stopped laughing I felt better. :-)

Sandra said...

Oh boy you opened up a can of worms LOL

You know me and my so called "diets". I wish I could just eat what I want without worrying about how fat it will make me. Let's just blame it on society and those skeletal models on the magazines ok? LOL

You are gorgeous Courtney and I honestly don't think you need to loose weight, I only wish I was as skinny as you.

Love ya girl,
Sandra

Michelle said...

I have those days quite frequently myself. I think every female on this planet has those days. I know it's hard believing what our SO says about us being perfect for them, and they love the way we look. I never believe mine either, lol. I really hope that you feel better soon, because whether or not you believe it, you are a very beautiful woman with a lot to give this world. God bless you!

Faith said...

I must admit that you are a very attractive woman to have an INFANT child. I mean I am not bi-sexual or anything. I guess military wives stick together. First of all, no diets are needed for you. Secondly, if you want to cut your hair go for it, but speaking from a girl that cut off locks that were almost to my butt, I regret it. Finally, you need to have some alone time. Find a neighbor or family member to watch the children so you can just chill. You deserve it. The new layout looks great. :-) Good work lady. Do you mind if I link you?

Glo said...

Ok girl...It is time to get real. Your a young and beautiful woman. all this Diet crap is for the birds. Work on being healthy.My heart Doctor says so.And above all like yourself.Your a child of god and he doesn't make mistakes. I almost died from tring to be thin so now I'm a little over weight but eating health and not worrying about it and I've lost 45lbs.and hoping to lose more.My husband Loves me through thick and thin. He couldn't even find me at the air port when he was home on R&R.....I happy I' ve lost three sizes but most of all I'm Blessed to be here to enjoy life. I got to see my children grow, my grand daughters born. I'm not thin by any means,but I'm beautiful,happy and very blessed by God. So as you can tell DIET is a dirty word in this house. Just eat less,but healthy. Most of all enjoy your life,family and everything God has Blessed you with......I love you and I know for a fact dieting can run your health.So girl just go get you nails or toes done, that's what I do. Love you Girl

janice said...

you are so beautiful!! but I do understand - it is an obsession that is hard to break free from in our society. Sandra just had a great post on this subject...