Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Can not scream loud enough!!!!



I have quickly learned that through deployments you really see who cares & who doesn't. Thank goodness I have great blogger friends who care & give me advice. Without you I would go crazy. Since Matt has left it's one problem after the other. Mainly with family you know family who should be there for you through it all. I find myself pouring my heart out time after time to these people who should care about Matt & I (especially Matt right now) but I get nothing in return except bragging & complaing about their own petty problems. I think what hurts the most is before Matt left he talked to everyone & asked to look out for us & be there. Everyone vowed to do this but the day he left it immediately changed. I mean a good example is the day he left I came home still pregnant & with two crying confused kids all alone & with not one phone call. Maybe I am asking to much but time after time I find myself crying over this & I cry enough to let this bother me to. Matt tells me to just stop trying & that all we need is each other. Which is so true. If he is happy than thats what matters to me & same way with him. Well I am not happy with these people so what now do I shut them out for now to help my emotions or keep trying because honestly I think I am tried out. It's sad when people whom you have never actually met know about myself & my kids & also seem to care more than family. But thank you for that. I need that right now & you all know that. Therefore you continue to keep in touch & help me through the most difficult time in my life.

~ Court ~

2 comments:

Mystik said...

OMG Court,
I completely understand what you're going through. The in-laws never ever call me! They always ask Hubby how I am, when they know my number, and never ask me. It's almost like they really don't care about me and when they talk to him, they feel obligated to ask how I'm doing. It was so crazy. They came in town (Hubby's sister and I live in the same city) cuz Hubby's sis was getting her wisdom teeth cut out. They came in on Thursday and on Sunday (the day they were leaving by the way) they call Hubby (who's in Norfolk, Virginia) to ask HIM if I want to go eat lunch with them before they left. For God's sake, they asked HUBBY!!! I'm speechless. I said that to Hubby, and he thought I was overeacting and said that they love me and yadda yadda yadda. That makes me want to pull my hair out. I have tried calling them a few times before and they hardly said a word to me. The main things they said were about what Hubby was doing right now in the Navy, and I'm like yeah, I know. I talk to him everyday! AAHHHH!! So, yeah. I feel your pain. I say, we stop trying. I mean, you can only bend over backwards so far, then it's their turn to reach out a little. It doesn't seem like military in-laws care anything about the spouses. In my opinion. Well, you know what? When Hubby's on deployment, I'll probably be the only one he calls, so maybe they'll be forced to call me to see how he's doing. Of course, that would mean that they would only be calling to ask about him, not me. There's nothing I can do about that I guess. I wish we didn't have any in-law problems. Dealing with them is so stressful sometimes, and our Hubby's don't even get to see it from our point of view!! I think I'm ready for another margarita night. lol.

Sandra said...

Court I totally understand what you mean. Unfortunately some people, including family, don't understand how hard deployments are.

You've taken on the role of mommy and daddy while Matt is deployed and you NEED help to get through it. Even a hug is something that would help so much during this time. I truly wish that I lived closer to you so that I could help you get through this. It's hard, it's really hard and you're doing an outstanding job.

Matt is right when he says that all you need is each other, BUT, you also need adults to understand you. After a whole day of dealing with kids and diapers, it's nice to have someone older to talk to and to let you vent and help you through this. I'm so sorry that you feel you don't have that from family and friends around there.

Just know that even though we don't know each other personally, I'm still here for you to vent to and talk and whatever. You can always email me at bourlandcs@msn.com. Anytime :)

Hang in there, and you know what, if they are not willing to be involved in yours and your children's lives, then so be it. Just worry about yourself and your kids right now and getting through this deployment.
Matt loves you, that's all that matters right? ;)

Hugs,